On my very first trip to San Francisco, I treated myself to dinner at Chez Panisse. I had to. These are texts I sent myself during dinner.
- I never knew asparagus could taste nutty. Now I know.
- There’s so much history in this restaurant.
- The souffle was nothing. The asparagus stole the show.
- A classy lady lets the dish sit for about 30 seconds. She doesn’t even look at the food. Just keeps talking. I am not a classy lady.
- “At the risk of sounding really arrogant…” When saying that to your grandparents you are a fool. They already buy your bs and you know it.
- “You have to know what kind of life you want.” Shit. Really? I doubt these French guys to my left ever think that sentence. I’m certain.
- I feel safer and more at ease with V than I’ve ever felt with anyone. I have grown up. But he makes me feel safe without even trying.
- Bye Chez Panisse. Thank you.
I was the first to go in our group of new trapeze-ers. I thought I needed to go first so the anticipation didn’t kill me. Once I got up there, I couldn’t jump. Just couldn’t. The instructor on the platform seemed angry and told me to stop convincing myself out of it, and start convincing myself into it. The instructor on the ground told me to just do it. The whole gym stopped to watch. Finally, the instructor next to me suggested I just jump out and swing. I think the freedom to finally stop stressing about doing the trick eased me but in truth, I have no idea where that fear switch is in my brain. It comes on like a 500 watt bulb and it has often seemed in my life there’s no way to turn it off.
After doing the trick 4 times later, the instructor on the ground seemed proud. He came to me and said I should think about what other things outside there that I was stopping myself from doing because I claimed to be too scared. He’s right.
These days, with a decent career and a nice apartment, friends, family and a growing new relationship, I don’t have a lot of opportunities to question my fears. But I know I still have them.
Thank you trapeze school. And thank you to me for finally jumping.
We can attempt trapeze school and, standing on the platform, too scared to jump, be reminded that fear often gets in our way
[From freewillastrology.com; Cancer horoscope 2/23] In her essay “The Possible Human,” Jean Houston describes amazing capacities that are within reach of any of us who are brazen and cagey enough to cultivate them. We can learn to thoroughly enjoy being in our bodies, for example. We can summon enormous power to heal ourselves; develop an acute memory; enter at will into the alpha and theta wave states that encourage meditation and creative reverie; cultivate an acute perceptual apparatus that can see “infinity in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower;” and practice the art of being deeply empathetic. Guess what, Cancerian: The next six months will be one of the best times ever for you to work on developing these superpowers. To get started, answer this question: Is there any attitude or belief you have that might be standing in the way? (Here’s Houston’s essay.)
This picture is part of the inspiration for a new project.
What does this illustration make you think of? If you’re one of the two people reading this, please post in the comments.
Oh Sandra
I feel a dangerous obsession with Sandra Lee brewing. It started with Kwanzaa cake and has been seriously amplified with the cocktail tree.
Is there a pill I can take to embrace more jangly tumult?
Cancer Horoscope for week of December 16, 2010 (courtesy the most excellent Rob Brezsny)In the TV comedy series “Arrested Development,” Buster Bluth was an adult character who was a bit over-attached to his mother. It seemed to have to do with the fact that he lingered in her womb for 11 months before agreeing to be born. The obstetrician claimed “there were claw marks on her uterus.” I want to be sure you don’t make a comparable misstep in the coming weeks, Cancerian. It really is time for you to come out and play. Ready or not, leave your protective sanctuary and leap into the jangly, enchanting tumult
Penises have feelings too
The video is great. The top comment is just as great.
I might argue that penises have a lot of feeling but I think the sentiment is still clear.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnagRjxp7v4&feature=player_embedded
chicken
I’m in the middle of a game of chicken,
that could be all in my mind.
When I hear the word girlfriend on tv,
my hand reaches for the phone.
Stupid fucking dating sucks.
Dear Heather
- Work has been blah and so you are not being challenged there and so you need to find new challenges.
- Get the camera from work and start logging the damn footage.
- Lots of people ask about when you’re going to write another book. Maybe you should write something too.
- Lying is funny.
- You are funny.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself.
- Don’t apologize.
- Remember this horoscope.
Yoga works
5 months ago I posted this about being able to touch my toes in a seated position thanks to yoga:
Tonight I met my toes
- My hands: mmm….reaching, reaching
- My toes: lah-di dah…just hangign out
- My back: bending bending
- My toes: OH, MY! I’m being touched…by my hands!
Tonight at yoga I found I was suddenly able to touch my toes in sitting position. I was completely bent over, head against my thighs, I didn’t even know that my toes were that close, and that in seconds, I’d be touching them! Woot woot!
Well, last night, there I was, bent over my legs with my forehead completly flat on my legs and finger tips about three inches past the bottom of my feet.
I heart yoga.
